I Still Exist!

Look! I’m still here! My last post was all about stress, and a lack of any posting. Yet, here I am, several months later, still without a blog post. I have’t forgotten about my blog or my YouTube channel, I have thought about it, had a couple of flickering ideas, but none of them have caught fire. I go in waves where I’m proud of my Youtube channel and blog, and then another where I feel really embarrassed by it.

I’m still working as a Photopass Photographer in the Magic Kingdom, and I’m actually coming up on my “official” one-year anniversary with the company! I’ll also be temporarily transferred to the waterparks for the summer! As much as I love Photopass, I’ve feeling a little bit in a rut with work. I still have not been trained in any specialties, so I’ve been feeling really disheartened. I’m looking forward to a little change of pace and scenery for the summer!

I’ve said it before, and I’m going to say it again. I’m going to try and get back into the swing of things. I’m going to start with my blog, and try and go from there. So don’t worry, I still exist!

DCP Merchandise Haul!

Needless to say, living in Disney for 9 months, there is quite the temptation to buy all the cute Disney merchandise you see on an every day basis (especially being a merchandise Cast Member). So here I am, sharing with you all almost everything  I bought during my Disney College Program! I’m still in Florida, and still a Cast Member, so I’m sure there will be much more merchandise purchased in my future!

What in the World am I Doing.

It’s been awhile since I’ve written on my blog. I’ve been so preoccupied with other things, it pretty much fell of my priority list. But a lot has happened in a month, and it’s about time I shared what in the world I’ve been doing since I last posted, and snippets of social media don’t always do me justice…

I’m not sure if I ever formally announced it, but I’ve extended my program! I’ll now be staying with Disney until May with hope of pursuing a job or professional internship with the company after. I extended into my same role at my same location. Lucky for me I love my “DAARling” family!

Another fun fact? I’m moving out of CP housing! Although I’ve had an overall good experience with housing, being 22 years old I need my own space. And since I plan to stay in Florida, it makes sense for me to get a real apartment and finally settle in. One of my roommates from my CP apartment will also be living with me!

One disappointing aspect of the program is that I won’t be home for Christmas, so missing my family is especially difficult this time of year. I was lucky enough to have Christmas scheduled off, but what that really means to me is that I’ll just be at my apartment alone, which will weigh pretty heavy on my heart. Just being in Florida alone, it doesn’t feel like the holidays.

But lastly I have some more positive news! I am officially becoming a Disney Trainer! Being a CP this is a pretty big opportunity and responsibility to be given to me. I couldn’t be more thankful for the opportunity, especially because I hope to stay with the company. I look forward to becoming a trainer and potentially even training new CP’s!

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Even though this is probably one of the biggest transitions and most stressful times in my life, I’m pretty proud of myself for doing it. Moving my whole life to Florida wasn’t easy, but I really feel like I’ve found my place here.

 

The Lesser Known…

I live and work in the most magical place on earth! The sun is always shining, I’m making the magic! And yet, there aren’t roses and rainbows everywhere. There’s a little dark cloud seemingly following me around.

Sure, on my social media I’m casually hanging out in front of Cinderella’s Castle, basking in the Osbourne Lights, dancing with different characters…but what you don’t see, is me struggling.

Don’t get me wrong, the Disney College Program is the best decision I’ve ever made! But it’s also probably the most difficult thing I’ve ever done in my entire life. Harder than high school, more challenging than college. In all aspects of my life, this program has taken it’s toll.

I’ve moved halfway across the country from all my friends, and family. I came here not knowing a soul. Seeing them all so happy and together, while I’m here alone.

I’m living with 5 other girls, on top of sharing a bedroom, which is no easy task. From passive aggressiveness, to not truly having my own space to escape to. I’m always on edge.

Living in an area I know nothing about, and depending on my GPS for almost everything. Even getting lost going home after work. Not knowing what areas are safe, and where I should be more careful.

I’m struggling to make friends that won’t be leaving to go back to school come January. Becoming so close to people I may never see again.

Waiting and waiting to hear back if I got a professional internship. I applied months ago, and have only received rejection letters since.

I work long hours, and have near impossible guests. Being yelled and sworn at, then having things be thrown at me. People demanding I give them a “magical moment.” Breaking down and crying in the stockroom. Ever-changing work hours wreaking havoc on my sleeping pattern. Being surrounded by so many people, but still feeling so alone.

I’m trying to make a life down here, without having a clue where to start.

My stress is through the roof, and I’m finding it almost unmanageable at this point. Typing this out is probably the first time I’m really putting into words how I feel, and I still don’t feel like I’m covering all my bases. I feel lost.

I love it here, and I have every intention of staying. But don’t let my social media fool you. Dreams do come true, but they aren’t always easy.